There we were, careening up the onramp to Perth’s Tonkin Highway like a warbler out of hell in our rental mini-SUV packed to the gills with luggage in the pitch black of night with two young boys in the back seat who believe driving is a group participation sport and a wife in the left-side passenger seat diligently repeating Siri’s directions that in 400 meters we need to merge right at 100 km-per-hour all the while I am trying to convert the metric system, concur with my son that yes there is a white Honda tailing us, and check in the right mirror for oncoming traffic. Come hell or highwater, we were going to merge. I steadied my hand to hit the turn signal.

Instead I turned on the windshield wipers.

“I can’t see anything!” I screamed.

I ran over a traffic cone and swerved onto Tonkin Highway, staying snug and safe in the left lane (the slow lane in Australia).

“I’m surprised nobody honked at us,” said Lisa, my wife.

The “no worries, mate” attitude of Perth extends to its roadways. Over the course of our week-long family vacation to the capital of Western Australia our fellow drivers were graciously patient as this American adapted to a turn signal that you have to hit up for left and down for right.

Another driver waiting at an intersection in Fremantle placidly watched as I plowed over the curb to avoid a collision after I accidentally turned into right lane.

“Left!” my wife screamed. “No, right!” I screamed back. She was telling me I need to be in the left lane. I was telling her I need to turn right. Both of us were right, and I was very wrong.

On top of that, every intersection in the city is a roundabout. The op-ed writers to my hometown newspaper complaining about the three roundabouts in Cedar Falls, Iowa would have an embolism in Perth.

By the time I got the hang of driving, it was time to leave.

Living the Dream

I had dreamed of vacationing in Australia ever since Crocodile Dundee pulled out his big knife in theaters in 1986. While we didn’t go to Sydney or swim with Nemo in the Great Barrier Reef, we did get to see kangaroos lounging around the backyard of our time share. We got to pet koalas, wombats, and pythons at Caversham Wildlife Park. We took selfies with the quokka, the world’s happiest animal, at Rottnest Island.

The abundant wildlife, the pristine nature preserves, the wide-open starry skies, the honest appraisal of Western Australia’s reprehensible mistreatment of the native Noongar people, it was a refreshing break from the big city of Singapore, where the sound of traffic and construction follows you on the nature trails.

Ultimately, it was the perfect family vacation because nothing went wrong, aside from a few traffic snafus. The August weather was sunny and cool. Our planes left and arrived on time. Our rental house was much nicer than expected. There were no issues with the rental car. And most importantly, when it comes to family vacations, nobody got sick or injured.

That being said, I will give my usual disclaimer here, this write-up contains little useful information for those looking to plan their own trip to Perth. We didn’t stay in a hotel. We didn’t go to many restaurants. And we didn’t visit the more popular tourist sites.

If you are looking for detailed information, you are best to keep googling.

If you want to find out how our family decided to spend eight days in Perth, read on.

Day 1

Walyunga National Park

There were three main reasons why my wife was able to convince me to travel to Perth for our summer vacation. First, it is close to Singapore. It is a direct five-hour flight. All we had to do was hand the kids their tablets and they sat quietly for the duration of the plane ride. Easy-peasy.

Secondly, we had affordable accommodations in a good location. During Japan’s Bubble Era my father-in-law’s bff purchased a vacation home on a Perth golf course to be used for his family business. They would use it for company retreats and for wooing clients, and then they rent it out on occasion. My wife stayed at the same house with her family when she was a teenager and wanted to share the experience with her kids.

So we were able to stay at a beautiful house, kitted out with retro ’90s furniture, at a cheap rate without having to leave an online review.

Lastly, Perth is located near a wealth of national parks. Having lived in Tokyo and now Singapore for 12 years combined, I missed nature. I missed being able to jump in a car, escape to the middle of nowhere and not see a single soul.

Which is why on the first day of our Perth vacation we took a short hike through Walyunga National Park. Now, there is nothing particularly special about Walyunga other than it was the closest national park to our rental home.

The park has barbecue pits, camping sites, herds of kangaroos lazing about in the shade, and nature trails that follow the northern stretches of the Swan River. This particular stretch has a whitewater kayak course and there were quite a few kayakers congregated in the parking lot discussing the low water levels.

We took the short hiking route, and spent about two hours marveling at the cockatoos and kookaburras lounging in the trees. You won’t find much outdoor adventure (unless you kayak) or astounding views at Walyunga, but you can have a lovely picnic and a walk in the woods.

Caversham Wildlife Park

We didn’t get our fill of cute and fuzzy critters at Walyunga National Park, so in the mid-afternoon we drove over to Caversham Wildlife Park. If you are coming to Perth with kids, then this is a must-visit.

Did you come to Australia to pet a koala? How about a kangaroo? And what about the wombat?! Then by gosh this is the place for you.

Caversham is located within Whiteman Park, itself an expansive recreational area with playgrounds, trains, and other kid-friendly amenities. Caversham Wildlife Park is more like an interactive zoo, filled with Australia’s cute, cuddly, and horrifically lethal critters.

Check the Caversham schedule before you go, because you definitely don’t want to miss free family pictures with the koala or wombat. For $35 you can hold the koala.

Suppertime

As mentioned earlier we didn’t eat out much in Perth. Our boys were ages 6 and 8 at the time of our trip. At this age, nice restaurants are a waste of money, and most of the restaurants in Perth are on the pricy side.

Our rental home came with two fully equipped kitchens, so we did almost all of our cooking there, and got as much mileage as we could from the barbecue grill. The supermarket chain Woolworth’s became our best friend, and we were at the supermarket, and the adjacent liquor store, on the daily.

We soon realized that Australia was keeping all of the good meat to themselves, and shipping the scraps to Singapore. The steak, pork chops, chicken breasts, it was all divine. There was even kangaroo meat on the supermarket shelf.

My wife made the comment that the pork chops were better than the ones in my home state of Iowa, which is a sacreligious thing to say. But I will admit they were definitely in the same ballpark.

One more point on food before we move on. We did not go to any wineries, even though we were staying in the midst of Perth’s Swan Valley wine region. Again, we have two boys who have a talent for ruining any occasion in which Mommy and Daddy just want to find five minutes to relax and enjoy themselves. Wine will be spilled and fine china will be broken.

On that note we decided not to visit the Margaret River wine region south of Perth, at least not on this trip. It’s the first question anyone asks us. “Did you go to Margaret River?” No, we didn’t.

The drive to Margaret River form Perth is only about two hours. But the way we saw it, to truly appreciate the experience we would want to stay overnight, and accommodations in Margaret River are not cheap, and neither are the wineries. Mostly, we didn’t want to spend two days of our trip listening to our boys whine about how bored they were.

We did buy plenty bottles of Margaret River wine at BWS, the liquor store you will find near any Woolworth’s. Be sure to check opening hours before making the drive (this pertains to just about anywhere). Perth shops operate on their own time.

After drinking lots of subpar Australian wine in Singapore and Tokyo, we were blown away by the freshness, depth and fruity quality of the Margaret River wines (at least the ones they keep for themselves). We were sure to pick up a few duty-free bottles before we left the airport for home.

Day 2

Fremantle

Back to the business at hand – discussing the places we actually did visit on our trip to Perth. Our second full day was a Sunday. We went to Fremantle.

One of the nice things about visiting Perth in August, is the weather is seasonably, comfortably cool. I wore a flannel shirt and light jacket most days. Being as such, it limited what we were able to do on our trip. Swimming, snorkeling, beach-lounging, and all water sports were out. This helped us with our planning by limiting our options.

Fremantle is a blend of Perth’s brutal history and rustic seaside vibe.

When Dutch explorer Willem de Vlamingh first explored Western Australia in the late 1700s he claimed the Fremantle area as an ideal spot for a settlement. However it wouldn’t be for another 130 years when the British, under the direction of Captain Charles Fremantle, established a settlement at the mouth of the Swan River, and subsequently imprisoned and impoverished the native Noongar people. This blight on history is well-documented throughout Perth, Fremantle included, particularly at the Fremantle prison and the Roundhouse, two historic prisons where the native Noongars were detained in shackles.

We spent a full day in Fremantle and could easily spend longer. We started at the prison where we could somewhat easily find parking. We had to circle around the parking lot a couple of times before someone left. Tours of the prison were a bit pricier ($12 for kids, $22 for adults) than we were ready to pay so we peeked around the free sections before moving on to Fremantle Market, a short walk away.

Fremantle Market is the reason you will want to visit on a weekend. This is when this historic market is hopping. The indoor market doesn’t quite match the intensity or straight-up deliciousness found at say Faneuil Hall in Boston or Reading Terminal Market in Philly.

You won’t find aunties picking out their daily wares next to chefs or tourists downing hoagies or oysters. You will find oodles of fresh produce, local handmade goods, and lots of unique food vendors. On the weekends, you will also find lots and lots of people, ass to elbow. The reason to visit on the weekend however, is the buzzy vibe and wholly entertaining street performers.

We bought our lunch there, splitting up to pick our favorite vendors, and huddled next to a brick wall outside the market since there was absolutely no seating to be found. Afterwards we wandered down the cappuccino road area, refreshing with a quality cup of joe and checking out some of the local shops. Kakulas Sister grocer, which has other locations in Perth, was a highlight.

From there we hustled to get to the WA Maritime Museum ($15 for adutles, kids free) and the WA Shipwrecks Museum (free – donations encouraged) before they closed (5pm for both).

Maybe it was because we were in such a rush, or because we were tired, or it turns out maritime history just isn’t that interesting, we weren’t blown away by either museum. We did get to see a real submarine at the maritime museum, which was cool. And learning more about the shipwreck history of Perth was interesting (holy cow were there a lot of shipwrecks). It’s just tough to enjoy to the fullest when a person over the intercom is kicking you out.

On the way from the maritime museum to the shipwrecks museum, we stopped by the roundhouse, the former prison that is also the oldest building in Perth. The views of the sea and city are worthy of the side trip.

Once our exhausting walking tour of Fremantle was complete, I ditched the family for five minutes to get a snap of the Bon Scott statue.

For supper we eschewed the multiple brew pubs for a popular Italian eatery that we knew the kids would like. Personally I’m not a big fan of Australian craft beers. They seem to put more budget into their snazzy labels than they do their beer ingredients.

Also, since I was driving my family, having only driven a handful of times in the past decade, plus the fact I’m not a great driver in the first place and I was now on the wrong side of the road, I was not getting behind the wheel with any alcohol in my system.

Anyway, we made it home safely.

Day 3

The Pinnacles

On our third day we made our big road trip.

The Pinnacles is a fascinating geological phenomena located inside Nambung National Park about three hours north of Perth. A millenia or so ago this area of Australia was under the sea. For centuries seashells stacked atop each other on the ocean floor. The weight of the water pressure cemented the layers of seashells together. Once the water receded, and erosion washed away the loose sand, all that was left were these stacks of fossilized seashells.

The description doesn’t do it justice. In person, the scene is astounding.

We went on a Monday to avoid the crowds. Even so, there were busloads and van-fulls of selfie-taking tourists flocking about the desert. The area is so expansive we were able to drive further ahead from the main area, park the car in the desert and go for a walkabout, without seeing a single person.

There are a bundle tour options for The Pinnacles. One tour itinerary picks you up in Perth, starts at Caversham Wildlife Park, takes you by van to The Pinnacles, then takes you to lunch at the Lobster Shack in Cervantes, then takes you to go sandboarding in Lancelin, and finally you end up at Yanchep National Park to see koalas in nature.

You can do it that way if you want. We didn’t want to do it that way.

First, I was excited to drive along the wide open Indian Ocean Drive. (One morbid observation is that the country roads are littered with kangaroo roadkill.)

Secondly, we were glad that we were able to explore The Pinnacles on our own terms. In total, we spent about one hour in the desert.

Also, it was winter and we really didn’t want to go sandboarding, so we skipped Lancelin. We did go to the Lobster Shack in Cervantes for lunch. It was expensive, but the fresh lobster processed right there in their own factory was mouthwatering. The seaside view from the outdoor dining area provided the perfect ambience. Even though it was a Monday, the Lobster Shack was still busy.

We also went to Yanchep National Park. However, we arrived there just after 4pm, after the visitor’s center closed. We were the only ones there. We saw one koala high up in the treetop, just a fuzzy silhouette. There was once again a herd of kangaroos.

Even though it was getting dark, we hiked a 2km nature trail that looped around an inlet of Loch McNess. We grew excited because right off the bat we saw three young blue fairy wrens, my new favorite bird. But after that we didn’t see much of anything and all we had were two tired, irritable kids.

Day 4

Perth Aquarium

Having had a busy few days, we took it easy on day four and after lunch we made the drive to Perth’s aquarium, technically called The Aquarium of Western Australia.

At first, I wasn’t terribly excited to go because they didn’t have any exciting attractions like a dolphin or orca show, but I agreed to go because I wanted to check out the parking situation at Hillarys Boat Harbor (more on that later).

The aquarium turned out to be a pleasant surprise. It is well-organized and is a nice little capsule of the native sealife off the coast of Perth. You can learn everything you want to know about coral reefs, and a personal favorite was the display of tanks exhibiting the world’s most dangerous sea creatures. Did you know the rainbow mantis shrimp can punch hard enough to break glass?

Most importantly, the kids enjoyed it, and the oldest was able to pet a shark for the first time. It might be better to visit in the winter months (summer in Australia), when there is more to do outside.

In total we spent two hours at the aquarium before heading to the nearest Woolworth’s to buy food for supper and snacks for the next day’s trip.

Day 5

Rottnest Island

A month after our vacation ended, our kids are still talking about Rottnest Island. This place should be on everyone’s bucket list, at least, if you enjoy breathtaking beach views, healthy fresh air and exercise, and the world’s cutest critters.

The quokka. What more do we need to say?

Before I get all gushy over these derp-faced furballs, let’s talk about basic logistics. There are three ferry companies that make the daily 45-minute ride from Perth to Rottnest Island. Two of them depart from Fremantle Harbor. The third leaves from Hillarys Boat Harbor. There are some differences between the three. Schedules and prices do vary, so you will want to do the research and decide which is best for you.

We chose Rottnest Fast Ferries, the one that leaves from Hillarys Boat Harbor because A) it was the closest drive from our house, and B) they have free, convenient parking with plenty of available spaces. It was the priciest of the three options (though they were offering a special kids’ discount at the time) and it does have the fewest time options, though the timing was perfectly fine for our schedule.

The boat itself was a big triple-decker, and clean and comfortable. Though the waves were choppy, and the crew thankfully passed around sick bags because both of our boys did end up getting seasick, at least on the way there.

Like everything in Perth, I really didn’t know what to expect once we arrived at the island. There are a lot of options in terms of things to do. We kept it simple. We were there to see quokka, and that was our mission.

Otherwise, you can go glamping at Rottnest. You can rent bicycles or go on Segway tours. There are 63 stunning, secluded beaches where you can do a laundry list of water sports. You can take a water plane and go freaking parachuting.

We took a walk. We were the only ones on foot as we walked southeast from the visitor’s center along a pathway that followed the coast, taking us past rental cottages. Once we cleared the cottages, we took a trail that connected us to Parker Point Road. On the right side of the road (the side opposite the ocean), we noticed a dirt trail that led into the wilderness. On a whim, we took it and headed into the bush.

There we found our first quokka. A whole pack of ’em.

The quokka are native, and almost exclusive to Rottnest Island. The island itself used to be part of mainland Australia until the Indian Ocean crept in, forming the island. The native animals were trapped. So by DNA, the quokka of Rottnest are truly unique. There are a few pockets of quokka on the mainland of Western Australia, but none of them are as photogenic as those on Rottnest.

Rottnest is actually Dutch for “rat’s nest,” as the Dutch explorers thought quokkas were big rats. In Wiki fact, they are marsupials related to kangaroos and wallabies. August is the late gestation period for quokkas, so the quokkas we found in the wilderness were heavily pregnant. The babies are born in late August and early September, so September would be a good time to visit if you want to see baby quokkas hopping around.

The quokkas we found hiding in the timber were on the timid side, hopping away on their hind legs as we approached. We were still able to creep up on them as they huddled under low-hanging tree branches. The fur of these wildling quokka was sleek, shiny and lush.

This is opposed to the more friendlier quokka that hassle tourists around the restaurants and glamping tents closer to the main jetty. While these quokka are still cute, they are a bit more like pests, walking right up to you, expecting food handouts, their fur gray and patchy. The lady at the Hillarys Boat Harbor gift shop told us that if you are sitting down at the Rottnest Island restaurant, these quokka will hop right into your lap.

In total, we found three small packs of quokka in the nature. After leaving the first pack of cuddly wuddly fuzzballs, we ended our walk at Army Jetty where we had a picnic lunch at a nice shelter complete with running water and clean, modern toilets. We had originally planned to take the train to Oliver Hill Battery, as our oldest son is obsessed with trains, but the train was closed.

Instead we bought bus passes for the Quokka Coach tour bus. You can hop on and off the bus at any of many bus stops conveniently located at the island’s major attractions. Bus stop number two is located on Parker Point Road just past the intersection with Army Jetty Road.

While we waited for the bus, we noticed another dirt trail leading into the bush on the left side of the road behind the bus stop. We wandered just a few feet down the trail and found another pack of wild quokka. Picture time!

We took the bus to stop number 8, which drops us off at the shortest trail up to the Wadjemup Lighthouse. The third pack of wild quokka, much smaller than the first two, was hiding in a copse of trees on this short road up the hill.

We found the ticket price too steep to climb the steps to the top of the lighthouse, but the friendly tour guides gave us a thorough tour of the free areas on the ground level, and it’s from them that I learned most of the information about Rottnest Island I share with you now.

By the time we made it back to the bus stop, there were only two more busses that would get us to the main jetty in time to make our 4:30 ferry ride back to Hillarys Boat Harbor. So we stayed on the bus all the way to the second-to-last stop at Geordie Bay. From their we walked along a pleasant boardwalk that followed the coast.

And we found a lot more quokka as we traipsed through the more modernized areas of Rottnest Island. These quokka were not afraid of us in the least, and walked right up to us to see what we were holding in our hands. We had to force ourselves to stop taking selfies with the quokka so we could make it to our ferry on time, which we did with no problem.

Day 6

Art Gallery of Western Australia

The day after our Rottnest Island adventure, we were a bit wiped out. So after taking it easy in the morning, doing laundry, and some general clean up, we drove to the Art Gallery of Western Australia. This was our first actual journey into Perth city proper.

The gallery is located in the Northbridge neighborhood of Perth, which is known for an eclectic mix of cafés and boutique shops. It would be nice to explore the area more, but we just didn’t have the time or energy this time around.

The Art Gallery of Western Australia highlights local and native artists, along with a smattering of international artists, and you really get a sense of the history and character of the area through the art on display. The gallery is promoted as kid-friendly, and that is the truth.

Gallery 09 has a large collection of large child-safe blocks, of all different shapes, that you can use to create your own structure. Our kids built stately thrones. Designed in collaboration with artist Bruno Booth, the interactive exhibition “interrupts preconceived perceptions of disability.”

There was also a drawing station where we learned a new drawing game we still do at home. Overall, the kids spent more than an hour in this space, wholly entertained and engaged in creative activity that challenged their learned perceptions.

Day 7

Perth Zoo

On our last full day in Perth we agreed to go to the zoo. If you have read this far, you will have realized that we have already seen a lot of animals. Going to the zoo might be overkill. Though my wife justified the trip by pointing out that it was our last chance to see the quokka.

The Perth Zoo is well-organized. The animals are healthy and happy. There is a nice collection of native Australian animals as well as the animals you would expect to see at a zoo – elephants, monkeys, tigers, lions, rhinoceros, etc.

I would say parking was the only conundrum. Again we had to circle around the crowded parking lot until we saw someone leave and we had to race to their spot before anyone else took it.

Then the parking, and parking fines if you extend your limit, are expensive. So we didn’t get to enjoy the zoo as much as much as we would have liked because we were rushing through to make sure we returned to our vehicle before the meter ran out.

King’s Park

After the zoo, we decided on a lark, to have a late picnic lunch at King’s Park. What an incredible place to finish our Perth vacation. King’s Park is underrated and is a must-visit.

First, it’s free. There is an abundance of free parking. There are all of your favorite beautiful Australian birds fluttering about. There is an astounding view of the Swan River and downtown Perth. There are lovely walking trails and playgrounds of all kinds to entertain kids of every age.

The Botanic Gardens is nice, though our kids were worn out at this point and not so keen to see the 750-year-old bilbao tree or the glass bridge. There are also scenic and educational stops where you can learn more about the aboriginal and European history of King’s Park.

The weather was clear, sunny and cool, which always helps. But a visit to King’s Park was the perfect way to end our trip.

Day 8

The Airport

I just want to give a quick shoutout to Avis car rental. My one last stressor (aside from getting a family of four aboard an international flight), was dropping off our rental car. The Avis drop-off spot was easy to find, in a convenient location to our terminal, and the process of turning over the keys was super easy. Plus the lady working at the kiosk was friendly, and she helped end our trip on a positive note.

We would love to return to Perth, ideally when the boys are old enough so we can tour the Margaret River wineries in peace and relaxation. And maybe one of them can drive while I point out every blue car on the highway.

Thank you to my wife Lisa for making this trip happen. It was a precious family experience that comes once in a lifetime.