There was one rule for my bachelor party: No cameras allowed.

Thus there are no pictures to share. Though I will provide this literary snapshot.

Four of us went to Atlantic City. The other three members we shall call A, D and C.

The moment in time I am describing occurred around 1 a.m. and I was somewhere in Caesar’s. D was out doing something deviant. A and C found two seats at a poker table.

Left to my own devices I found a quarter slot machine. Within minutes I was $5 up and I quickly cashed out. That is my philosophy to gambling: as soon as you are up, no matter the amount, cash out.

Anyway, I got a call from C. He lost on a flush. He wondered where I was. So did I.

“I’m right outside the poker room,” I said.

“No you aren’t,” was his reply.

“I see the poker room. I am standing right outside.”

“No. You aren’t.”

“Well, where am I?”

“I don’t know, go ask somebody.”

I found a Caesar’s employee conveniently standing behind a desk. Pretty sure they put her there just for people like me.

“Where is the poker room?” I asked.

“Go all the way to the other end of the casino and take a left,” she said.

Just then I received a call from A. He had also lost at everything in a hand of Texas hold ’em. Within 10 minutes A and C were both down $100 and I had gotten completely lost in Caesar’s.

We found D. I proceeded to win $40 at the $1 black jack table in Wild Wild West. The rest of the table was pretty irritated with me, because when I sat down I had to ask the rules of black jack.

For some reason the waitresses never returned with our drinks. They only brought us water.